some of you never woke up after heart transplant surgery and discovered that your boyfriend, zayn malik, had been the donor and it shows
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Paladin™: when you’re kinda feeling cleric but also want to Stab
Sorcerer™: when you wanna be a caster but you don’t wanna be a nerd
Bard™: when you’ve never made a decision in your life and you don’t intend to start now
Warlock™: when you’re not quite ready to admit you’re into cryptids like that
Druid™: when honestly you’d rather be on the floor petting the DM’s cat but they made you play and this is the next best thing you guess
Fighter™: when all the weird puzzle shit bores the snot out of you and you’d rather stack dice til the fighting part gets here
Rogue™: when you’ve never solved a problem in your life, and in fact have caused many, and you’re just fine with that honestly
Two universal constants of high fantasy living:
- If something falls into ruin a necromancer will move in 100% of the time
- There is a critical mass of gold that will summon a dragon. If you keep accurate records and stay below it you’ll be fine
I’m sorry, sir, if you don’t renovate your summer keep and live in it at least one month out of the year, we’ll have to charge you with Negligent Dungeonization of Property. The old cellar laboratory might have belonged to your uncle, but if you aren’t going to use it, something will.
The players are a squad of government investigators, trying to prevent monsters from claiming new habitat. It’s mainly negotiation but sometimes people have an interest in attracting dangerous entities for their own purposes.
I love this so much!! GIVE 👏 ME 👏 DUNGEONS 👏 WITH 👏 BACKSTORIES